Bald Movies

The Toxic Avenger (1984)

December 24, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

Merry Christmas, Jason Miller! Your wife, Aime thought it would be a nice present to commission you a pair of podcasts to open beneath the tree. This is one of them, 1984’s cult horror classic, “The Toxic Avenger”. Directed by Michael Herz and “starring” Mitch Cohen, Mark Torgl, Andree Maranda, it’s a work of pure cinematic insanity of over the top and cheaply filmed gore, sex, violence, and sexual violence. We discuss Troma films in general, pollution, dick punching, and much more as we attempt to review a movie that defies criticism.

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Transformers: The Movie (1986)

December 24, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

Amee Miller commissioned Transformers the Movie as a Christmas present for her beloved husband Jason. Featuring the voice talents of Leonard Nimoy, Orsen Wells, Petter Cullen, and Scatman Crothers, the movie certainly lives up to it’s billing as “beyond your wildest imagination.” For example, I’d never imagine an underwater chase scene involving muscle cars, mentally challenged dinosaur robots leading a populist revolt against injustice, a microscope being used as a telescope, or Weird Al Yankovic’s “Dare to Be Stupid” being used in an all-robot dance number. Maybe my imagination is broken or something.

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It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

December 21, 2016 Bald Move Prestige

We wrap up the Christmas festivities with a true classic – It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s one of the most beloved Christmas movies ever made, full of warmth and cheer. But just maybe there’s more to it.

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Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

December 15, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

Jim and A.Ron just got back from seeing a little film called Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, and are actually kind of divided in their opinion of the film. A.Ron hails it as the best Star Wars this side of Empire, while Jim maintains that it just didn’t feel like Star Wars enough for him. Both agree that it is a darker, more mature look into the universe that’s more known for it’s light-hearted swashbuckling space stories than grittier, grimmer looks at the horrors of war. Please enjoy our spoiler-free review and preview of upcoming movies, but if you want to hear us talk at length about our praise and problems for the film, you’ll have to be a Club Bald Move member.

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Jingle All The Way (1996)

December 14, 2016 Bald Move Prestige

A.Ron and Jim take in a Schwarzenegger film that we don’t have that much experience with, 1996’s Jingle All The Way, as the Bald Move Bad Ass Christmas continues.   What on the surface is a light hearted tale with decent to good performances hides a deeper, darker secret that exposes everything wrong with the increasing consumer…

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Jingle All The Way (1996) – LIVEWATCH

December 12, 2016 Bald Move Prestige

Come watch the movie with us.  If it’s bad, we’ll make fun of it.  If it’s good…  well, we’ll still make fun of it, just a little less seriously.

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Die Hard (1988)

December 7, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

The Bald Move Bad Ass Christmas rolls on as we take a look at 1998’s Die Hard. Starring Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman, and directed by the master of action/thrillers John McTiernan, is explores an eventful Christmas Eve in the life of one John McClane, a hard boiled NYPD detective. In a wide ranging conversation, we discuss the differences between a great movie and an awesome one, Bruce Willis’ career, professionalism and consent dealing with actors, and non-traditional Christmas classics in general. Hope you enjoy, and Merry Christmas!

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Die Hard (1988) – LIVEWATCH

December 5, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

Come watch the movie with us.  If it’s bad, we’ll make fun of it.  If it’s good…  well, we’ll still make fun of it, just a little less seriously.

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Rocky IV (1985)

December 1, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

Merry Christmas! Jim and I kick off the Bald Move Bad Ass Christmas celebrations for our Club Members with 1985’s Rocky IV. What makes Drago v Balboa a holiday film, you ask? Their climactic battle takes place on Christmas day. Plus, there’s snow, and pine trees like you wouldn’t believe. Very Christmasy. Anyway, this is a great terrible film that might have helped win the Cold War. We discuss the film, it’s place in the Rocky pantheon, and behind the scenes tidbits and stories straight from the Sly’s mouth. In case you missed it, we Live Watched this thing to, so be sure to check that out.

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Screamers (1995)

November 30, 2016 Bald Move Pulp

Special thanks to Josh Wilson who commissioned the 1995 cult sci-fi movie, “Screamers”. Starring Peter “Robocop” Weller, it works as both a goofy b-grade science fiction flick and a semi-serious work based on a short story by no less than Phillip K. Dick. It punches well above it’s weight in terms of concept, set, and costume design, but then surrounds Weller with below replacement value actors such as “Poor Man’s Bill Paxton” and “Homeless Man’s Val Kilmer” with mixed results. Still, it managed to provide both laughs and scares, and we feel we enjoyed it in the spirit it was intended.

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