A.Ron and Cecily are back for another season of Ryan Murphy Madness, this time in Apocalyptic form! Tonight’s season opener of FX’s American Horror Story: Apocalypse felt strangely paced, as it seemed we were hurried along a lot of very interesting settings to get to a weird man with flat ironed hair. Which probably means this season is going to jump around like a horseshoe rabbit on methamphetamine. LA gets nuked, two teenagers we’re not sure why we should care about are ushered to a facility where the world’s elite plan to ride out the fall of civilization. They might be half brothers and sisters, they may be alien babies, one of them might be the Antichrist. Billy Eichner gets vaporized before the title sequence, which delighted and bummed us each out in equal and opposite measure. Ms. Paulson and Bates play purple playtime dress up. Horses get devoured? I guess? Probably radioactive scorpions… it’s just a lot to take in. We’ll be back tomorrow to talk more and discuss your feedback, so please send some in so we all don’t look silly.