The final livewatch of the Season of the Cage is in the books and it’s, well… completely mediocre. Like the movie and starring actors it’s based on, there’s absolutely nothing worth seeing here. Ok, so maybe we spice it up a bit with a few jokes but can that really save a complete pancake of a movie?
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We draw the Season of the Cage to a close with its namesake movie, Season of the Witch. Does a movie starring Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, and that guy who played Al Capone in Boardwalk Empire actually deserve a viewing? A.Ron and I certainly have an opinion.
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Have you ever seen Nicolas Cage make a phonecall while wearing plastic vampire teeth? Have you seen him shout and gesticulate his way through the entire alphabet? Have you seen him literally say “boo hoo” while crying? No? Then you certainly haven’t seen Vampire’s Kiss, which is in the running for “Cage-iest” movie of all time.
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Watching an unhinged Nicolas Cage performance for the first time is an experience that simply can’t be matched. There were enormous expectations for Vampire’s Kiss, and I’m happy to say they were met. Sync up your copy of the movie with ours and join us on this magical journey.
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We take a couple cracks at the Vampire’s Kiss rewrite; one serious, one not so much. Can we fix a movie that isn’t worth watching without its lead actor? If not, maybe we can further ruin the movie in search of the dark comedy within?
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Jim and A.Ron got a one-two punch to their sense of nostalgia as Creed 2 relentlessly broke us and a theater full of Rocky diehards down. It should not be possible to build so much pathos and legend on the somewhat shaky foundations of Rocky IV, but we’ll be d*mned if they don’t. Up and coming director Steven Caple Jr. recaptures the magic of the original Creed, Michael B. Jordan is amazing as always, Sylvester Stallone continues to age like fine wine into the role he was born to play, and Tessa Thompson once again shows that playing a boxer’s wife/girlfriend doesn’t require you to be a human wet blanket. If you’re a Rocky fan, you’re going to like this film.
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Multiple viewings and hours of sober reflection have led us both to believe that Con Air is a bad movie. The plot is contrived, the accents are awful, and it’s perhaps the least “Cagey” performance in Cage’s entire career. And yet, maybe based on star-power alone, it remains a classic which simply must be watched.
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A shocking discovery was made as we attempted to rewrite the cheesy classic, Con Air: It’s actually way harder than you think to fix this movie. Does that mean that the plot is actually better thought-out than we first assumed? Or is the fundamental idea so flawed that it’s simply impossible to film if you respect your audience? Or perhaps it’s simply a lack of imagination on our part? Any way you view it, we had to get real silly to make this one work, but we had a lot of fun in the process.
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We kicked off the back half of Season of the Cage with perhaps his most mainstream film of all time, Con Air. Does that mean it’s inoffensive? No. Is it one of Cage’s more impressive acting jobs? Also, no. Is it even a good film? Again, no. But that also doesn’t mean it’s not a fun movie to watch. Jim loves it, A.Ron probably doesn’t, but you should decide for yourself as you listen to us make jokes over it.
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Another split decision on the latest first run Bald Movie, the WW2-themed action-horror film, Overlord. The serious and somber tone set against the gonzo and outrageous action quickly lost Jim. I thought the film delivered a pretty solid war film, followed by a tense and effective horror film, then rounded into a solid action romp that unfortunately started collapsing under the weight of too many action movie tropes. Still, the war scenes are more horrifying than most supernatural spookfests, the characters while basic are appealing, and the effects gruesome and effective enough to deliver the goods, especially if you can turn your brain off for the last act.
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